Day 15: Uggggghhhhhh

Four months ago I praised my company and talked about how much I liked my job. Read about it here. But today I'm here to tell you about how much I hate my job and how it's taking everything I have in me not to walk out.

Back in April we found out there were going to be some changes, mostly in the contracts. So, all the "smart" people decided to jump ship and join the new program. Three weeks ago we started training. And from day one we felt we were being lied to. Sure, most of it's small things...but they build up and all together it starts breaking down morale. From shorter breaks and lunches, to less pay, to doing more than we were originally led to believe our job entailed.

And I'm just not happy. Today is our first day on the phones. And I'm probably going to puke. I don't even know the proper way to answer the phone and I sure as hell can't solve your problem without it being a 45 minute phone call and with lots of help from outside sources that they are bringing in. Whats even better, our managers don't even know what they are doing yet...so how are we supposed to escalate calls.

I hate it so much that I've spruced up my resume and started applying to jobs in the area. I have an interview Thursday. Please, please, please cross your fingers that I get this job. I'll probably have a nervous breakdown if I don't!

And that, my friends, is why Kaleb's summer vacation has been so boring so far. I have a hard time focusing on anything else, I just apply to jobs and obsess over how much I don't want to go to work. It's awful. I need to get out of this funk SOON.

Day 32: A Vent

Okay, I seriously need to get something off of my chest. This summer has been rough. Like, pull my hair out, uncorking a bottle of wine rough. And I'm sure it hasn't been a walk in the park for Kaleb either.

Last night went something like this: I was making dinner, trying to sneak in vegetables...but Kaleb just wouldn't leave the kitchen. We sat down for burger night..I laid out all the toppings: lettuce, tomato, onion, and some cucumbers because that's the only thing Kaleb will eat. He makes his burger and eats half of it. He grabs a pickle, decides he hates the pickle...and then refuses to eat the rest of his dinner. We sat at the table forever waiting for him to finish it. I have other shit that needs to get done, so we eventually have to leave the table. Kaleb went to his room pissed off and called his mother. She tells me I have to make him a PB&J. Well, since I make my own bread I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to wait 3 hours for a sandwich. I offer what we have (fruits, veggies, Jello) he eventually says yes...and he even got full off of it. All seems well. For a few hours.

At 9:30, Danny has been up for 17 hours and he's exhausted. He tells Kaleb it's time for bed and to put his pajamas on. He refuses. Straight up says NO. Instead he'd like to play Chess, Danny says "no, it's bedtime." This continues for a few minutes until Danny tells Kaleb to put his pjs on...and Kaleb says he's too tired to do that. They go to bed mad at each other. Kaleb calls his mom...again. And again the dinner conversation is brought up. He told his mother we let him have a snack but we wouldn't make a sandwich. Which makes me sound like a horrible-friggin-person.

After a few minutes I went into his room. I wanted to know what the deal was. He told me "I'm addicted to mom's rules, I can't follow daddy's." Danny and I were both lucky enough to grow up in a two parent household. One house, one set of rules. I can't imagine having two sets. Not that our rules are hard or anything (don't touch the walls, eat your dinner, use your manners....and put your pajamas on. I know, we're Nazi's here.)

I thought all was well and good. This morning Kaleb woke up, as usual I asked what he wanted for breakfast and gave him three choices. Pancakes, cereal, or donuts. He chose donuts and a glass of milk. He gobbled it all up, his mom called to ask what he had, and was very unhappy when he told her what he ate. I'm supposed to make a real breakfast. Really? I make lunch and dinner...and most of it goes to waste. I gave up offering fruit or yogurt. They just end up in the trash.

Our days together are so good. My favorite thing in the world is making dinners and enjoying them as a family and now food is the source of all this tension. I've tried all the tips everyone left, I've even started leaving veggies out of the dinner, and yet this is still the worst part of the day.

Now...I'm going to go slave over the stove just to start the whole cycle over again. Maybe I'll chill a bottle of wine while I'm at it. I think I'll need it.

This.is.awful.

Days 10 & 11: A Rant

The past few days have been good, but as soon as dinner time comes...the mood changes. Kaleb will eat the main course with no problem, but when it comes to the sides he'll put a microscopic bite in his mouth and make a disgusting face. His mind is already made up before he tries it. Me and Danny have become very frustrated with it. Before Kaleb even leaves the table I'm out the door walking the dog, I can't stand looking at the faces he makes and pleading/bargaining with him to eat just a bite. By the time I come back the rest of his dinner is in the trash and he's pouting because Danny won't let him use the bb gun. Hey, if he's not gonna do something for us why should we give in and do something for him?

The good news is, he's been able to keep himself entertained during the day. He loves Legos, reading, playing fetch with Miley, and I'll let him use the computer to go on PBS Kids for a half hour a day. And he really likes to go for walks! So, Wednesday we walked to the library for their Creative Kids program. He was the only boy, but he still had fun! He made a necklace and a bracelet, he was pretty proud of himself!

I'm hoping dinner time gets easier around here. Cooking dinner is my favorite thing and I 100% believe in eating dinner as a family...so this is right up there with the most frustrating thing ever!

Dear Miley,

I'm sorry, but you have been driving me nuts lately. Our bad day together starts the minute you wake me up. You eat, you go outside...and I have to watch every single move to make sure you don't dig. Today you were good, you didn't. Then you get a treat, cuz I don't want stinky doggy breath.

Then the maddness begins. You have been awake for literally 10 minutes and you decide to start barking for no reason. You just stand there and bark. Want to play ball? Nope. Tug of war? No thanks. You just like the sound of your voice. I ignore you, you find shoes, towels, pull things off my table, socks from drawers that weren't closed all the way....and I have to chase you to get them, make a friggin' blockade in the kitchen to trap you. You're pleased with your bad behavior...so you decide to take a nap. Man, I wish I could take a nap.

Then you need to go out later. So, I decide we're going to go out together. You look RIGHT at me and start digging. OR the other day you see me vaccuuming and you start digging. REALLY?? You are not that bright. Then you bark at me for 10 more minutes. Just as you start putting your head down, Fedex comes, you freak out. Then the mailman, you freak out again. Just as you start to dose off....someone next door moves to fast and you start barking like a mad woman.

You're being "good" now, but you're going to be a pain after dinner and then when Daddy gets home you're going to freak out. No matter how many times you are shoved down, you still jump. Ignoring you doesn't work. And following Cesar Milan's ways just make me look stupid.

I'm sick of saying your name. I'm sick of having to put everything up so you don't destroy it. You need to freakin' behave. Everyone said you would calm down when you turned 2 years old...well, now I'm counting down the days til you are 3, because 2 didn't make a damn difference.

Miley, you're a pain in my ass. You're lucky I love you.

Love,

A Fed Up Puppy Mommy

PS. I just thought of this. Do you have seasonal depression? You were so well behaved over the summer!

My Biggest Pet Peeve

Most of my pet peeves involve food. I can't stand loud chewers, people who talk with food in their mouths....and crunchy food in general just freaks me out. But there is one thing I really can not stand.

The phrases "ew," "gross," and "you're gonna eat that...." get under my skin. Let me explain why....

It started waaaaay back in elementary school. I wouldn't say I was teased a lot in school (except by those damn twins who used to make fun of me for having boobs...but anyway...) but the lunch room was always torture for me. And it wasn't even like I ate weird food! I vividly remember eating the pepperoni pizza Lunchables and being teased....because apparently the pepperoni looks like something else...hmm...

The lunch room stories continued into high school. I liked to bring my lunch, again nothing weird, but people still teased. Kids are cruel...but whatever.

Senior year I went to England and France with school. I will always remember the list of rules, it was long...but the only thing I remember is....

The worst thing you are allowed to say is "that's interesting."

It was so nice traveling to different countries, trying different foods and knowing that the worst someone could say is "that's interesting." I took full advantage of that! And I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to try really strange food...it was the perfect opportunity to!

Because of that trip, whenever I go to a restaurant (mostly when traveling) I always order what everyone else is afraid of and sometimes the item that no one knows what it is. And I always love it. Think of it this way: if someone else thinks it's good, it must not be that bad.

I went out Saturday night Danny's friends. That was my first mistake. The second was when I ordered the hard cider with Guinness. The bartender thought it was weird, but she's making money off of it...so she didn't care. But I got so many dirty looks from Danny's friends. Um, this was served at the craft beer festival. It's not bad, it's delicious and maybe if you manned up and tried it....you wouldn't be saying "ew."

So, just remember - when you "ew" someones food you are being rude and disrespectful. Try new foods, and if you still don't like it, just say "that's interesting."

Day 19: The One Where I Blow Up....

Have you ever had one of those days where you can feel your veins tightening and your blood pressure going up? I swear I have felt like this for a while now. Everything sets me off. Everything. And it's gotten to the point where I can't stand myself.

There are two main things that set me off. And then little sub-categories that go along with it. Practically everything involving the ex-wife makes me nervous/worried/anxious. There was one day that whenever Danny's phone made a noise I thought I was going to have a panic attack. With that girl there is no give at all, she changes plans, demands things, and talks so much shit about me it isn't funny. And if Danny says something she doesn't like it is obviously my fault - which means I get a nasty FB message telling me I'm a selfish dumb ass drunk bitch. And she wonders why I constantly deny her FB friendship.

Along the same lines, child support freaks me out. On Fathers Day, Danny talked to his Dad. Two days later Danny told me that his dad has been getting "a bunch of letters from child support." Well, that was nice of him to tell us. So, after getting in touch with the child support people we know Danny will be paying more. Which is fine and totally understandable. However, it pisses me off that his dad knew about the letters and never even said anything. For the past week we've been waiting to get a letter saying how much more and when it would start coming out of his pay.

Fast forward to this morning, Danny gets an e-mail from MyPay confirming that money will be coming out. I ask him when and how much. He tells me he'll check it from work because he can't remember his password and it's easier to do it from work. Fine..whatever. It was stewing in my mind all day, I redid the budget using a number that I pulled out of my head. It's been driving me nuts. Then right before Danny goes to work he says "I just checked my leave time, still not approved." Which in my mind transfers to "I can remember that password but not the one that you asked for earlier." It set me off. Really set me off. I went on a rant about how convenient that was...and then he laughed. Seriously, not a good time to laugh when I want to blow up. Then he says he needs the paper from MyPay that tells him how to change his password. REALLY? I could have done that earlier in the day when he first brought it up! I wouldn't be a raging bitch right now if he mentioned this three hours ago! For the first time ever he left the house with both of us in awful moods. And I feel awful.

Last weekend we went to a baseball game. We were arguing about something...when it hit me: why am I arguing when I don't even want to be arguing. It just happens. Something in my brain gets so frustrated that I have to get mad and angry. Over nothing. I've never so badly wanted to cry about something that doesn't even exist...I seriously search for the tears and nothing happens. I'm upset and mad about things I can't control and things that don't even exist.

I don't think it's a mental issue, but who knows. I think it might be the fact that one person can only handle so much...and when it involves a crazy ex and money...I have absolutely NO past experience with any of these things. So the only way I know to handle it is to get anxious and worried....

These are seriously things I need to work on. I've always been an anxious and worried person but lately it's more than even I can handle.

...sigh...

Let's Talk About the Worst Day Ever.

Today was a stressful day. And as always...my stress revolves around money.

Before hubby left for Yuma he attended some sort of meeting about using the government charge card. He was told he had a $1600 limit for food and the such. He also took some cash with him. When he went to Willow Grove last year we had zero issues with this.

I got the mail and there was a bill for the charge card. I don't remember this happening when he went to Willow Grove. The bill was over $700. So, of course I started freaking out...it's due before he even gets home from Yuma. 

Lucky for my Danny was just getting out of work and signed onto Facebook. Why is that lucky? Oh, cuz his phone broke. I asked him about it, he told me not to worry about it. But me-being-me...of course I worry. After asking Twitter friends and getting a lot of different answers I decided to e-mail the FRO, who then e-mailed S-1 (apparently this is administration.) This is the answer I get back...

Ma'am,

The S-1 cannot take care of the bill, the GTCC is the individual Marines responsibility.  If the Marine goes over 30 days of not paying the bill he will come out on the hit list.  If the Marine cannot afford to pay his monthly bill out of his pocket or make arrangements to pay monthly, he needs to go to his S-1 shop where he's currently TAD and conduct a 30 day partial travel claim.

Wait. What? First..hit list? Is this the mob? Second..what the heck was the meeting for if they weren't going to just cover the bill? Oh, and how do I tell hubby because he doesn't have a freakin' phone! Me and my sister are currently tracking down all his friends to get a hold of him. Stalkers? YES!

Then the FRO e-mails me back and says this....

I'm sure the limit is what he was told. There is an s-1 shop where he is.  If he needs to start a travel claim now to make a payment on the card each month, he can do that.  If you can afford to make the minimum payment,  that may be the easiest thing.

So, should I assume that if I pay the minimum I'll get that back? What the heck should I do? What would you do? Big time help needed on this one!!!

(If it matters, Danny gets back four days after the due date!)

Friday Confessional

I confess that I hate when people use the Thursday Five linky to advertise a giveaway. There are linkys out there that want you to do that....don't use mine for shameless advertising. It will only make me angry.

I confess I was a raging bitch this week. But I think I had a good reason. Tricare still isn't letting me make an appointment, leave wasn't approved until yesterday, Miley ate another bra, and my wisdom teeth decided to make an appearance. I'm so happy that it's finally Friday...and next week is a short week for us!

I confess I didn't read at all this week. I have pile of books I need to get through...but with my awful mood this week, nothing sounded good. I need to get out of this funk.

I confess I hate football. I will not be watching the game on Sunday. And I'm so happy that football season is over.

I confess I want to go on a shopping spree. My parents always spoiled me and my sister before a vacation...we always got new clothes. This Disney vacation I'll be going with clothes I've already have...I feel a little depressed about that!

I confess this was such a downer post. I promise positive vibes will be returning soon!

Here We Go....

I.AM.FED.UP.

So, as you know, we are going to Disney in a few weeks. This is our first real vacation. Yes, we do things on weekends but generally they are cheap, free, with friends, family, and local. Disney is our first time away for more than one night that doesn't involve our dog or either side of our families.

We have been saving for this vacation since March of last year, with our wedding money, Avon money, birthday money and any other random money that we have. We're also doing this trip on a budget. But the point being...this is our honeymoon.

Now, as some of you may also know, Danny has a six year old son. A few weeks ago I received this ominous voicemail from him. "Hi when I come down over the summer, can you take me to Disney.....don't tell my Dad."

Well, that's weird. I didn't tell him about Disney, and I know Danny didn't tell him about Disney. Who's left? OH! His mom! What person in their right mind says "Daddy is going to Disney without you, call Nicole and tell her you want to go....make sure you say "don't tell my Dad." Or atleast that's how I envision it going, and I don't see that being so far from the truth.

I got over that. Whatever. He's a kid, of course he wants to go to Disney. Me and Danny talked about it...it's our first time away together, we're going to take him next time. And over the summer we're going to take him to Busch Gardens.

So, last night I posted some exciting Disney stuff on Danny's Facebook wall while he was at work. Funny, the second I did that...apparently she started texting him about Kaleb wanting to go to Disney. She also claims that this is her first time "hearing about our trip." Um, so the first time Kaleb just happened to find out?

She also says that we shouldn't be taking our honeymoon, we have every other weekend to do that and we should be taking Kaleb. She is also saying that she will be taking Kaleb this summer...and that now he can't come down here.

Okay, I consider myself a fairly even tempered person, but seriously....this pissed me off. Who is she to say what we do with our money? Danny fully supports Kaleb (as she doesn't have a job and 3 other children.) There will be other vacations for us to take Kaleb on, but for now this is our vacation.

Here's my real issue with all of this. She loves to tell people we are "good friends." She would never actually say any of this stuff to me...just Danny. I honestly have no problem with her, we get along, we share tips with each other, text randomly...whatever, I have no problems. I'm convinced she does this to cause problems with me and Danny. And it's really starting to get to me.

I love spending time with Kaleb. But since we live in different states, of course it makes it hard. Last year we were able to spend the entire month of June with him (if you followed that "series" on here...you know we did A TON!) and Thanksgiving in Ohio. This year we planned to have him the entire summer, vacations to VA, Boston, and Maine. I think we're doing a pretty good job at this co-parenting thing. But maybe I'm just delusional.

Am I being irrational? Total unfair to all parties involved? Is it fair to say that every time we travel I'm going to feel like this?

Tact.

Definition:

1.A keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

2. A keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination. 

Example:

My husband lacks tact when breaking news to me.

I was so excited that Danny would be getting home early from work today. I cleaned the house, showered, got dressed, and waited for him to get home. He didn't know it yet...but we were going to go shopping. When he came home, he asked what I wanted to do...I said shopping!

So, I'm putting on my boots and Danny looks at me says "SO, you have three months to get your license." Long pause. "I'm  going to Yuma for two months!" He said it with such joy and excitement....and I was angry.

I was not angry that he will be gone for two months. I was mad because of the way he told me. Seriously, when/if he deploys he better not have a smile on his face while telling me. I know it's why he signed up but atleast have my concerns/emotions/feelings in mind when you tell me. Don't be jumping for joy while my mind is stuck on "Damn, now I need to get my license."  (If you don't know my driving issue read it HERE.)

But here's the thing, ten minutes before I wrote out my blog about my New Year goals (to be published this weekend!)...and driving is on the list. Yet the thought of someone telling me I have to get it freaks me out. So, what do I do? I text my sister and start making a plan for the next few months. And while it might seem totally ridiculous to most some people...it's what will work for me. 

1) I will get my permit here and practice, practice, practice.

2) I'll go home for X-amount of months. Something I always said I wouldn't do, but hey...I'm allowed to change my mind.

3) Practice driving. And work at the restaurant I used to work at...and make some money!

4) Come back to NC and get my license. 

Am I happy about the plan. Some of it. 

And just a reminder to Danny. Tact is your friend when breaking news like this to your wife. 

Toxic Friends

I have never considered myself an Oprah fan...not until season 24. When my bestie, Katie, told me she had the 20th anniversary DVD set..I knew I had to watch the entire thing. And I did. In 24 hours. Yes, I have no life. While watching all six of those DVDs I've never cried so much or had so many "a-ha moments."

I don't consider myself old and wise (hell...I just turned 25!) but I'm not young and naive either. I do know a thing or two though. Oprah often asks "what do you know for sure?" I know for sure who my real friends are. There's a difference between an acquaintance and a friend...but there is a huge difference between a friend and a real friend.

I am tired of saying to myself "well...I guess I know who my real friends are." It always happens when "friends" do something that disappoints me or angers me. Fake friends are the worst.

A toxic friend is someone who constantly sends bad vibes. They treat you like shit. I once had a friend (from third grade through senior year of COLLEGE!) who treated me awful. We used the term "best friends" but I honestly didn't consider her my best friend for a long time...our friendship had become habit. She put down me down because of my college and a lot of my beliefs and opinions. I caught her talking shit about me before I got married, that's when I decided to cut all ties. I called her out on it, but for some reason she was shocked when she wasn't invited to the wedding.

Another awful friend was also the reason why I moved to North Carolina in the first place. I think she wanted me to be her bitch. But when I came to North Carolina with my own plans and soon made my own friends...she became cold and angry. And told me (in a nutshell) that Danny was the worst decision of my life. I remember after Danny proposed she actually pretended that she was happy for me. The fakeness of it was awful. A month later I moved myself out of that house (and paid a huge amount of money to pretty much end our friendship) and have never regretted any part of it.

Once again I have found toxic friends. And I'm sure all of you have a friend like this. I hate hate hate people who have a friend and then talk nothing but shit about them. You know that they are doing the same exact thing to you. I know that when you are complaining about someone, you want my reaction....only to go tell that person how awful I am. And-I-am-sick-of-it.

I never thought 19-20-21 was young. But looking back to my college years...I was young. I know I did the same things. But now that I am just a little older..I don't want those people in my life. I can honestly say I have one friend from my hometown. Two of my closest friends are from college. And I have a handful of girls down here that I consider real friends. And let me just put it this way..I am so thankful that I have my own friends...Danny's co-workers and their wives having totally irritated me in the past few months and weeks. And I am just realizing how young they really are.

I have decided to eliminate all of the toxic energy out of my life. It is exhausting. I have aired more "dirty laundry" on this blog in the past week...I hate showing that I'm mad/angry/hurt/sad but it makes me feel better to write about it. But the good news is...since I'm eliminating toxic energy you'll only be getting happy posts from now on!

Fed Up.

I'm seriously done with this dog. I'm sick of being barked at because I'm trying to make a grocery list. I'm sick of listening to whining because I can't always be rubbing her belly. I can't turn my back because Christmas presents have been destroyed. I'm done.

I'm sick of my things being destroyed. Never Danny's. Phone charger, two phones, computer charger. My favorite pair of shoes. My favorite pair of jeans and shorts. Not to mention my favorite autumn decorations. I've rearranged my living room three times to make living easier. I can't have her on the back of the chair near the window because she sees/barks/whines at everything.

I've tried every-single-one of your recommendations. Crate training, clicker training, the Kong, backpack for walks, spray collar, daily walks, and many more things. The only thing I haven't tried is a professional trainer. And honestly, I can't see spending the money when she hasn't proved to me that she can learn anything. She knows her name when it's convenient for her, she never comes when she is called.

My neighbors probably thing I beat her. I've given up on the "calm" commands...I've resorted to yelling. She doesn't care, her tail still wags. She doesn't get it. I've tried the "hit with the newspaper not your hand" approach. Yea...put the newspaper down and she will attack it.

I understand that she needs attention. But I wanted a dog not a child. I'm home all day, everyday...and apparently that's still not enough. When Danny was working days I was "relieved" at 5:30. She behaves when he is here. But with this new schedule...I never get a break. Ever. And it's getting worse. Is there a such thing as "Bring Your Dog to Work Day?" If not, I'm starting it. I need a break!

I'm calling the vet tomorrow. Maybe she can get some meds. If not, maybe I can get some. I'm losing my mind. And at the top of Miley's Christmas list is "calming treats."

It's been recommended that we "find her a new home." Has anyone ever done that before? I don't think I have it in my heart to give her away. You can't just give an animal away that you have has become a member of your family.

I've heard that some dogs are puppies until they are 18 months old. That means I have 6 more months of this!

What would you do? HELP!

Two Rants

There have been two things bugging me lately. I'd rather do it in one post...that way I'm not a complete downer two days in a row. I don't even like doing posts like this...but I feel so much better after I write them.

#1 Remember when I blogged about how night crew wasn't that bad? Well, I take it back. The actual night crew isn't bad...it's all the extra stuff. I don't remember the last time Danny went in at the real start of the shift...Sunday it was two hours early for PT and Monday it was four hours early for some bus-driving-test. Yes, they want Danny to drive a bus now. You know...in all that spare time he has. When he isn't working or sleeping....and apparently not spending time with me. If that doesn't make me sound like a whiny bitch...then I'm not sure what will.

#2 What's with all the recent blogging drama? Even though a blog is public and you can comment on everything...that doesn't mean you have to. Remember back in the day when your parents told you "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't saying anything at all." That applies in adulthood too. On the other hand, if you are going to blog about something controversial...expect some not-so-nice comments.

Eh, I lied...I still hate night crew. And now I'm worried I'll get hate mail for bringing up blogging drama. I guess that's life...

An Actual Update...

I haven't given an actual life update..I have mostly been complaining about my dog. So, this is what has been going on in my life.

It started raining Monday morning, it's now monsooning out. There is a flood warning until tomorrow morning at 6AM..it will probably be extended.

Tuesday night starting around 8:30 a creditor called Danny's cell phone. It seems sketchy to me, we have money to pay off what he owes but they wanted our bank account number to accept the payment. No, thank you. The good news is, I didn't freak out. I had a plan...until the creditor decided to pull this on us...We asked for them to send a letter and we would mail a money order or something. They said they couldn't do that. See why it seems sketchy?

Wednesday I went to the dentist, I need my wisdom teeth out. Wednesday night while watching Survivor something hit our window, it looks like a bullet. Danny said no, it's a rock. Whatever, either way...I had to contact the landlord and now I'm waiting for maintenance to come look at it. Also Wednesday night, we got into a stupid fight about things we can't control. It's our biggest stressor, I lose my cool, he just shuts down and doesn't answer at all. It's frustrating and this is the reason why I want to do the Love Dare. If anyone has a book I could borrow, I would love you forever!

This morning while it was down pouring Miley ate 7 birth control pills. So, not only did I have to worry about how it would effect my dog...I had to worry about me not having birth control (that I just bought....lovely.) I called the ASPCA poison hotline, they wanted to charge me $65 just to find out what was wrong. I hung up and called Mom in tears. I think she called human poison control, they said Miley would be fine. As for me, since I didn't have birth control anymore, I figured that might be a good idea to make my first doctors appointment using TriCare. Okay, except I call the Naval Hospital and they tell me that even though I have registered for TriCare, I have to register in the administrative offices before I can get an appointment. Um, hello...didn't I basically do that when I signed up for TriCare? So, now I need to do that...ASAP. Lucky for me, Miley saved me pills for the next 3 days, then I'm effed for five days...arg. (I get my pills from Planned Parenthood in Raleigh a little far away to just go pick them up...especially when its monsooning.)

Around 11:30 this morning, I decided that I understand why people drink heavily. I so badly wanted to break into a bottle of wine. For the record, I didn't. But I considered it seriously.

So...now does it make sense why I haven't updated anything? The good news is, the week can only get better...unless of course the creditor calls back, my house floods, they tell me its my fault the window is cracked, or my dog gets sick.

Okay, now that the rant is done..I promise only positive posts!

Stess: All Time High

Thanks to my dog. Miley might look cute and innocent but she is awful. Absolutely awful.

We have had Miley for a little over five months. I believe she will be 1 in November, atleast that's what the vet is estimating. So, I know she is still a puppy. I know she is going to have puppy habits. But seriously, this girl is going backwards instead of forward.

I should have known she was going to be hard to break her bad habits. From the very first weekend we had her she broke out of Danny's mom's fenced in backyard and ran through someones house....twice.

Next, she likes to dig. I can't even let her out in the backyard alone...because it would look like this if I did.

She refuses to sleep past 7AM. This morning I was dumb enough to think I could "play dead" to trick her. Except she probably thought I was really dead because she decided to get into everything in the bedroom. I can't leave our bedroom door open at night because she will a) eat the blinds if she knows a cat is outside b) not sleep at all and stare out the back window...and bark...constantly. 

Even the day we had Miley spayed she was getting into trouble! The girl just doesn't stop! She jumps when she is excited, she apparently can climb into my sink and get forks (and she broke a wine glass this weekend.) and one time she got on my kitchen table. 

Miley doesn't understand "no," "stop," "don't do that," or anything like that. She constantly needs someone touching her. She will bark for hours on end...not wanting to play, pee or eat. In the past two weeks she ate 2 of my bras. She ate some of the flowers my Mom sent me, five minutes after they were delivered. She seems to get angry when I rearrange, putting dishes in different spots, she has attacked my table centerpiece twice since I completed it less than a week ago. She has chewed my computer adapter, two phones, cell phone charger and an electric razor charger!

The best part? She doesn't do this when Danny is home. She is "Daddy's little princess" when he is around. She is the devil when it is just the two of us. I am sick of not getting anything done during the day because I have to cater to her every need (don't tell me to ignore it, you haven't witnessed her barking. And I don't want to get thrown out of my apartment because my dog is disturbing people.) I am fed up.

Every suggestion you guys have made, I've tried. We have a crate (I tried not to use it as a punishment, however..sometimes I have no other option), clicker training (she thinks its a toy), a laser pointer (she's not dumb, she knows we have it in our hand), backpack (that might be the only thing that works), puppy daycare (she has been a few times, I think it's made her stronger and awful to walk on a leash with), I could go on and on. You suggested it..I've tried it.

My final thought? Separation anxiety. I think this dog needs medication. And if she doesn't...I might. I'm losing my friggin mind!

Worst Day Ever.

I had great plans for today. I even made a to-do list...watch a movie, take Miley for a few short walks, clean, redecorate, bake...all sorts of great stuff.

Instead...this happened.

Miley was staring at the door, lovely..a cockroach. We chased it together and killed it. Then, five minutes later she was sniffing around in the kitchen. Miley being Miley. Or so I thought. There were maggots in my kitchen. Seriously? I have the cleanest house ever, where the fuck where they coming from. There were like ten of them, I killed them. Cleaned the floor, brought trash outside. Freaked out. Mom told me to move all trash away from the apartment...they were coming in from outside! They were gone within ten minutes, but I'm still freaking out, walking with my head down, napkin in hand...ready to attack.

I was all worked up, so I brought Miley for a walk...hoping it would help me unwind. Instead, whoever brought their dog for a walk within the past 24 hours hasn't cleaned the shit out of the yards. Seriously, it looks like a herd of cows were in the neighborhood. I've never seen such large piles of shit in my entire life.

Miley has been in one of those moods today. She is a very acrobatic dog. She somehow jumped into the sink and took the drainer stopper out. I thought that was the beginning and the end of her pain-in-the-ass-antics for the day. Yea....wishful thinking.

A few hours passed before the next major catastrophe. Miley ate dinner and started whining at the backdoor. I open the door to get her leash and something falls on my head. A friggin cockroach. It jumped off my  head, ran, me and Miley tried killing it...and then it disappeared. INTO THIN AIR. I have no idea where it went!

Keep in mind...these last few things happened while I was typing the subject to this post. Miley decided she needed to make a phone call, stole my Blackberry off the table...and chewed the back of it. I got it back, she jumped on the table..knocked over water, ran around with scissors, and is being a major pain in my ass.

 Oh, I'm so excited that it's not even 5PM yet. I have the rest of the night to go insane and find more bugs. I'm currently thanking God that Mom and Nana left behind so many alcohol drinks.

No One Likes a Complainer

Remember on Monday when I gave my weekly weigh in? I was at 130. Since then I have watched every morsel, walked the dog, worked out with Natosha, and went on a two mile walk today.

And you know what?

I gained two pounds.

Here are some things I think could be happening:

1) Last week I was on my placebo birth control pills. I felt awesome. This week I feel bloated and fat. Not to mention cranky and irritable. 

2) This one is TMI. I'm constipated. Like, for real. And it's aggravating beyond belief. Knowing that I'm working my butt off...and well, my butt isn't working with me. I bought some Activia today and I'm hoping it helps with the problem. I'm kinda refusing to take any kind of medicine to help...

And yes, I know atleast one person is thinking "she's pregnant." I assure..I am not. So, please no comments about that!

Wednesday is usually my "I feel my best today" day...but not even a two mile walk can convince me that this feeling is going to go away.

Isn't it awful that when you feel like this, all you want is a large order of McDonalds french fries to make you feel better. But that's why you feel like this in the first place. So instead, I will suck it up, eat a yogurt and bring the dog for another walk.

Bitch Bitch Bitch

"Bitch, bitch, bitch." It's all I'm going to do in this post. If you don't wanna read it, I understand. I just need to get this off my chest, because I've already vented to Katie....and she said I'm allowed to do this!

We all knew when homecoming was. The guys knew, the wives and girlfriends knew, and me and Danny knew. If my husband was coming home from war, I would make sure he had a place to live (or atleast something lined up that would be happening soon) or at the very least...a hotel for him to stay at for a few days.

For weeks leading up to the guys homecoming I offered our house for people to stay, help with transportation, help finding places to live and sleep, hell...I went as far as offering to purchase a plane ticket for one of the wives because she wasn't sure if she could make it up. All of it went under answered, so I assumed everything was taken care of.

Boy was I wrong.

The guys were supposed to be home Saturday night..but like we all knew, it was pushed back. Well, I guess that's a good thing because one of the girls didn't even get here until Tuesday at 6PM. Me and Danny were invited to homecoming by Danny's best friend who was coming home, but we thought it should be a family thing (afterall, we wouldn't want a ton of people there when Danny got home.) So, we're old and headed to bed, and the phone rings. They can't get on base. They want to use our car to get on base...my first thought is no (no, not because I'm a bitch..but because the girl doesn't have a license.) But Danny says yes because there is another driver. Okay, fine. So we are getting ready to do the car exchange and plans change. They don't need the car anymore.

The next day, one of the guys visited me with his girlfriend. I asked her where they were staying. Her answer? "I don't know, he has to find a place." Uh...okay? Three hours later, a whole bunch of homecomings later, there are no hotels. I bet you'll never guess who got a phone call to drive an hour away to help check into a hotel because he's not 21.

That same night, actually 3AM, the phone rings. Danny's best friend needs a ride to work in the morning. Done. Except the phone keeps ringing, the texts are flowing in, and my blood pressure is going through the roof. Seriously.

The last straw came when I asked four people over for a cookout. Four people accepted, so there is a total of 6. So, I plan a bacon-wrapped filet, potato salad, corn on the cob cookout. How many people show up? Six. Who doesn't have enough food? Me. How embarrassing is defrosting burgers and not having enough of anything.

I'm sure I blew this entire thing out of proportion. I know being married to a Marine, I need to learn to be more flexible. However, these things have absolutely nothing to do with the military...it has everything to do with life and common sense. I don't think it's right to have someone come home from serving their country and not have anything ready for them. No place to live, and they need a place in three days. With so many homecomings this week, that's almost impossible. Especially since he has leave and won't even be here to find a home!

I don't like when plans change that I actually have control over, and maybe I'm uptight. And the only question I'm asking you guys is, is it fair to the guys to have absolutely nothing lined up when they come home?

And yes, as I write this..I realize how dumb this all is. But I was aggravated after our little cookout and needed to get this out!

When It Rains....It POURS

I officially hate electronics. About a month ago, Miley chewed my phone charger..no biggie, Danny fixed it. But then she got ahold of my phone, so now the charger doesn't want to stay in it to actually charge it. But because I'm cheap, I just put my battery into Danny's phone to charge it. Annoying..but it works. But I neeeeeed a new phone, I don't want to extend my contract to get the phone (my contract is up in March,), because I barely get any service at the apartment. Any suggestions?

Now my computer doesn't work. It turns on, runs for about 5 minutes, then it freezes. Nothing will work, I can't even get ctrl alt delete to work. It's frustrating. It won't let me run a virus scan or delete any programs. It gets worse everyday (today I can't bring it back to life at all.) I have Danny's computer to use but all my important information is saved on my computer. What the eff do I do?!

My Neighbors Don't Sleep

But what they do do is sit outside of my bedroom window, on my chair and talk loudly.

Let me replay my night/way-too-early-morning-hours..

We went to bed around 11:15 last night. I think I passed out, that's the latest we have gone to bed in a while (we are old!) Around 4am I heard people talking loudly. Like, I thought they were in my house. I couldn't understand a word they were saying (think, drunken ghetto speak.) I got up to pee, which woke Miley up. I have the hardest time falling back to sleep once I'm woken up. Me and Miley hungout and cuddled for about 45 minutes, before we both passed out again.

At 6am, the extremely loud chatter started again. Seriously? 6am on a Saturday. On a long-fucking-weekend. I was pissed! Miley has me up at this time Monday - Friday, please just let me sleep. So, I laid in bed listening to them talking. Did you know "shorty is gay?" Well, that's about the only think I could pick up from their conversation. I was so pissed at this point. Are these girls so dumb/rude/drunk/high/WHATEVER that they don't realize they are in front of my bedroom window at six am on a SATURDAY MORNING!

I'm a wimp. I don't have the guts to actually confront these girls. So what do I do? I open the blinds, in the living room, apparently they heard it...gave me a dirty look, and went into their place (oh wait. best part...they don't even live there...I don't know who these random girls are.) I was all excited that they left, I crawl back into bed..at this point Danny is up and Miley wants to play. I could have fallen asleep..but the bitches came back out and brought another guy with them. Are you even kidding me?!

Is it totally wrong of me to move my chair and table (that they litter with cigarettes)? Do I say something, and possibly make living here totally awkward? 

AH! Advice please!